Becoming

One of the things about people that frustrates me most is when a person knows they have potential, and knows they can be better than who they are now, but choose to stay mediocre.

Each of us knows at least one person who’s like this. They are good people. They are usually your friend. They are someone you admire. And yet, what you see in them isn’t what they see. 

You see potential.

Growth.

Greatness.

And you might think for an instant that they see that too. But then they revert to their same old ways. Not wanting to accept more knowledge and power, because with that comes greater responsibility.

It’s just never made sense to me, really. I feel that as humans we intrinsically want to be better, or different, than what we are now. But our carnal, sinful nature keeps us from doing that. And fear. Fear is such a cowardly and yet all too normal emotion we encounter.

For me though, I’d like to believe that even though we live in this broken world there’s opportunity for good. Not only good, but the best. God didn’t send us here to be mediocre. He sent us here so we could one day be like Him. And God isn’t by any means mediocre.

But how do I know that? I know that because I know God. Or I’m trying to get to know Him at least. Because when you know someone, you trust them. And when you trust them, you turn to them.

And when you turn to God, you begin to change. You begin to become something.

Something great. 

Oh yeah....school ended.

Well this is embarrassing.

I have one week left of school, and have only written once this semester. Some exciting and not so exciting things have happened, but let's focus on some of the important ones:

-I was offered the PR position at work and will have my own office on campus.

-I was accepted to the Washington Seminar program through BYU.

-I then withdrew my application after two weeks of being in the program.

-Realizing I'm graduating next April is probably the biggest stress of my life.

So about that Washington Seminar thing....THAT was one of the hardest decisions of my life, thus far. It's a prestigious program, where students intern for a semester in Washington DC. Only 40 students are accepted each semester, and I was accepted for next spring/ summer. It all sounds fine and dandy, right?

Wrong.

When I was notified of my acceptance, it was honestly a complete shock. Hundreds of students applied. Hundreds were turned down. But they chose me. And I only had 24 hours to decide whether or not I would accept it. Let's just say I was one hot mess during those 24 hours.

Everyone said I should do it. The Lord didn't really give a yes or no...at least at that time, but I knew he'd support me either way. I just knew that.

So I accepted. I filled out all of the paperwork, met with the advisors of the program, researched internships and began the application process for each of them. But then something changed.

I had this strong impression that I shouldn't go to DC next summer. Initially, I thought it was just me under a lot of stress. But that weird feeling kept coming back to me every time I worked on my internship applications this past week. So I prayed about it and sent the director of the program a notification of my withdrawal.

Let me tell you....I struggled with that decision. I still am. I'm still not completely sure why I declined the opportunity, but I will say this:

I'm trusting the Lord on this one.

You see, God puts us through trials to help us grow. He has a plan for each of us, and it's up to us to find out what the plan is. Part of figuring out that plan means making tough choices and taking risks.

I know that things will work out. They always do. But for a girl who likes to have a plan mapped out about everything....it's proving to be quite the challenge. I don't know where I'll be next summer. I don't know what I'll be doing. But I do know that with Heavenly Father's help, it'll all work out.

Oh yeah...school started.

So about that last post. You remember how that particular movie I saw motivated me to write again? Well it just so happens that I watched that movie again. So here I am. Writing a post that is long overdue.

Being back in Utah has its perks. But let me tell you...leaving Oklahoma was hard. REALLY hard. But I think Heavenly Father is helping me understand an important principle.

Sacrifice.

You see, to sacrifice is to give up something valuable or precious, often with the intent of accomplishing a greater purpose or goal.

This is my last year at BYU. I'll be graduating either next April or June. Can we say weird? You're probably wondering how four years flew by so quickly. 

It didn't.

I'm finishing in three. Which is crazy. And exciting. And scary. But throughout this whole process, Heavenly Father has been cheering me on, and has given little indicators that He is fully aware of the happenings of my life.

So I guess the purpose of me writing tonight is to say this: When Heavenly Father prompts you to do something that may seem next to impossible, do it. Make the sacrifice and do it. Because it will always be for the good of our souls and salvation.

The week of change.

I watched a movie tonight that made me laugh, cry, and re-energized to write again. I miss this...this blog really is an outlet for me to release all the random thoughts no one really cares to listen to that are running around in my head. 

So...Let's talk about making choices. Hard choices. Choices that require sacrifice.

I don't always like making them. In fact, taking the easier road is something I probably do too often. But this week is about change. I'm changing the way I eat, and making more healthy choices (which by no means is an easy thing to do). I'm choosing to be more spiritual by reading my scriptures and praying daily. I'm choosing to get focused again on school (when all I'd really like to do is play).

Like I said, making hard choices isn't my favorite thing. But I came across a quote this week that I'm constantly reminding myself of: I like that.

"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true." -Leon J. Suenes

  

And this week as I am making choices, good choices, I will remember that paying this small price will help my dreams come to fruition. And oh, how happy I will be.

The Bachelorette...Oklahoma Style.

This blog really covers all aspects of my life. Most blogging "experts" say to focus on one area of your life.

But I've never been one to do things the simple way.

So instead of talking about work and school....let's talk about something different.

Boys. Men.

Can I just say that there is quite the number of worthy, handsome gentleman here in the great state of Oklahoma? I mean seriously, I told a friend that it feels like I'm on an episode of the Bachelorette, and I have no idea how to handle it! You would think living in the land of milk and honey (Utah) I would have found that Mr. Right awhile ago....but I don't think my husband is at BYU. At least that's what I tell people. But I somewhat believe that. And feel that.

And I also believe he's somewhere closer than I think. The only problem is, I leave in about five weeks. My heart usually breaks a little every time I have to move back. But this time it's practically killing me.

You see, there's a boy who's caught my eye. Don't get too excited...we aren't seriously dating. The whole long distance relationship isn't his cup of tea. So we are just having fun and seeing where the next few weeks will take us. But part of me wonders what would happen if I stayed here. Would things be different?

All I know is that I need to place my trust in the Lord, and whatever the outcome is..I know it's right. Because when man plans, God laughs. But when your plans are God's plans....great things will come of it.

I believe that. I feel that. I know that. 

Things I've learned so far.

So I've been at this internship for about five weeks now, and I've realized a few things about how I work, who I work well with, what people expect of you as a PR/ Marketing professional...and more. 

Warning: While this list may seem a little negative, it's not pinpointing the organization I work for. This is just a general observation of my experiences thus far.

• Don’t ever work with all girls if you can help it.
• Believe in what you are advocating/ representing, otherwise you will have a hard time performing your job well.
• Interns are always the lowest on the totem pole. Always.
• If you and your boss don’t really get along, you’re kind of screwed.
• But even when your boss doesn’t like you, suck it up.
• We have friends because those we work with usually cannot be trusted.
• Public relations can mean everything or absolutely nothing a company. Pick one who thinks you’re an asset.

On that note, Why did I choose a profession that isn’t seen as “necessary” when companies start down sizing? So lame. My professors always told me that we as PR professionals would need to prove how valuable we are to an organization. It makes sense, seeing as how the art of communication and building relationships is one of the hardest tasks us humans do.

So here's my conclusion from all of this:

I think I’m meant to be a full time mom. 

You're probably thinking...seriously, Jessica? You're going to school to be a mom? Uhh well, in a way I am. I'm learning things about myself that in no other would have happened. And the skills I am learning in my educational pursuits will also be of use for my future family.

So yeah....I said it. And I'm ok with that.

Refreshing for the Soul

Oklahoma is good to me. Let me count the ways:

1. Family. It's really nice having them nearby. 
2. Friends. So many sweet reunions this week, makes me understand why it's important to maintain relationships with the people you care about.
3. Food. Okay, so this may not be so good FOR me as it is TO me. Better Mexican food, BBQ, Panera Bread...the list could go on. BRAUMS. How could I forget that one?
4. Church. I absolutely love the singles branch I attend. Every time I go to church or an activity, I feel the love and goodness of my fellow friends. They just assume the best of you, and that's that.

I don't know why this place is so special, but there's definitely a reason why I'm here in Oklahoma. And my heart aches, knowing that I will have to leave it again in August. I do love Utah too, but it ain't the same. (Pardon my Okie)

An update on life: I work at the Oklahoma Center for Nonprofits as a marketing intern. For free. It has its good and bad days. But I'm learning a lot, and getting a better understanding of what I want to do for a career.

There's no boy in my life. (But that's not really an update)

Also, I realized something about myself today. I am a firm believer in doing what you love, and loving what you do. After listening to a few of my friends talk about their situations with work and life, I couldn't understand why they wouldn't do something to change their situation so that they will be happier. I know you gotta do what you gotta do to survive...but it's all about initiative and perseverance. To me, anyway.

My apologies for this post being rather blah...I'll be more exciting next time. Promise.

Calories...who's counting anyways.

Do you ever have those weeks when being healthy isn't even in your vocabulary? And then you slightly regret not using those those words when you realize that those jeans weren't that snug just eight days ago?

Um, yeah....me either.

Actually this week was filled with lots of good times....and lots of yummy calories.
I spent my Memorial Day weekend in Evanston, WY. Where it still snows when it's May 31st. And where there's maybe all of four stoplights. Luckily, I spent it with family and friends and that's what really counts, right?

Here's what we did: Cooked, Baked, Ate, Watched movies, Repeat.
And it was awesome.

 

Our midnight snack that only took FOREVER to make. Worth it, though.

Lisa, who buys babyfood when she gets to eat whatever she wants.

I'm still trying to understand this.

That is Eli in the middle, along with her two nieces. Can we say adorable?

 Then, after a relaxing,calorie-filled, laughing-so-hard-until-you-cry weekend, it was back to reality. Three day weekends are seriously the greatest thing man created, but it's the four day workweek after that totally throws me off. Luckily, it ended well with a FREE rooftop concert in Provo.

 This is Mindy Gledhill. She's a gem, really.

Also in the lineup were Ryan Innes and Meaghan Smith.

Check them out, you can thank me later. 

So that wraps up another week in Provo.

This coming week includes a few very exciting things:

-My mother flies in Friday and will be here until we leave for Oklahoma.

-I will have completed my first half marathon on Saturday and be absolutely content and....sore.

-I will be SO close to finishing spring term. 

Oh, happy day. PS...here's a glimpse of where I will be running Saturday. Running in the canyon has seriously been the highlight of my weekends these past several weeks. It just reminds me how great God is, and how grateful I am for the blessings in my life. 

Meeting the President.

I really love writing on this blog. Honestly. But, writing for the paper and my business writing class makes me push this to the side. Boo.

Tonight I decided to take a break from homework. Or really I'm just procrastinating until the very last minute they're due. I seriously thrive on deadlines. Is that healthy?

Probably not.

Anyways, I met the former president of Colombia. WHAT?!
Yeah, it was seriously the coolest thing.
I took on this assignment to attend a business and trade conference today in downtown Salt Lake. I wore a skirt. And pantyhose. You KNOW it's a big deal when I do that.

So I get to this conference, and I was definitely the minority there... for two reasons. 1) Women business professionals were definitely few and far in between. 2) I was one of few journalists reporting on this event. I mean, it's cool though. But I felt somewhat out of place. 

The opening speaker was the U.S. Commerce Deputy Secretary, Rebecca Blank. NOT Rebecca Black...let's just be clear on that. She was kind of a big deal, and so I definitely found her later on in the conference and thanked her for speaking.

But, being the curious, investigative reporter that I am (yeah, right) I found out about a press conference being held during the conference with President Alvaro Uribe. And apparently they thought I was a legit reporter. I was told that I could only ask one question, which I responded "Oh, I just wanted to listen in, I didn't plan on asking any questions." To which the kind lady replied, "Oh no, we will give you time to ask your question."

...............

Umm....okay. If I knew that I'd be doing this, then by all means I would have been prepared. But what do you ask the former president of Colombia when you honestly have no idea what's even going on in that country? Thank GOODNESS for smartphones. I did some quick research, and wrote down a simple question.

It would probably be worth noting that I was the only reporter reporting for an English newspaper. Everyone else spoke Spanish. Talk about feeling all the regret for not taking Spanish in high school.

So it's finally time for the press conference to begin. We walk in, and I shake the president's hand. He's speaking Spanish...I'm mumbling something in...spanglish....and flashing my pearly whites. The conference then begins, all in Spanish. How would I know what questions were being asked? Shoot. I was getting a little antsy, FOR SURE. The whole time I prayed that they would just skip over me.

It's my turn. DANG IT. I stuttered over my words, and felt REAL smart. So for that brief time the press conference was in English. President Uribe was so kind, and answered my question very eloquently. I just felt so out of place though. So, here's to learning Spanish!

All in all, it was an exciting day. Talk about a crash course into journalism.
But I it makes me love it even more.

Also, my roommate Courtney helped me learn two things about myself this week:
-I love journalism.
-I really want to be a hip-hop/ backup dancer.

Seriously. I love to dance. But do I ever actually do it? No. I need to change that.

Right now though, I'm focusing on finishing up my training for the Utah Valley Half Marathon.
Woo Woop! Running 11 MILES tomorrow. Wish me luck!

From the Wisdom of George H. Brimhall

I spend everyday working tirelessly in the Brimhall building on campus...it houses all communication majors. It’s also the place where I go to receive a little inspiration from time to time.
There’s this wall with quotes from George H. Brimhall, past president of BYU, that I pass by quite often. Here’s a little info about this inspired man.

"To this day, alumni who attended Brigham Young University between 1904 and 1921 are often heard to say, "I attended the Y in the good old Brimhall days." This is intended as a compliment to the spirit and personality of George H. Brimhall, for he breathed into the school a special charisma which people never forgot. He was particularly known for his short, pithy talks at devotionals. Ezra Taft Benson has written "No man has so inspired me with so few spoken words as has President Brimhall in his famous four-minute assembly talks."

For every day I pass that particular quote wall, I choose one of his “words of wisdom” and think about how it applies to my life. It's interesting that they can mean different things at various points in my life. My most recent quote I chose is this:

“If you avoid difficult things, great things will avoid you.”

Sometimes it’s so easy to choose the easier road. So often we lose site of where we are trying to go and instead, only look for the easiest way to get there.

I’m feeling pretty good about running a half marathon. I could just take my training a notch down and still be okay to run that race. Would that day be very enjoyable? Probably not. Would I regret it the day after? Probably so.

I’m ahead in the number of articles we are supposed to write for the Daily Universe. Should I take the easy road and coast through the rest of this term? Not. Even.

I’m also losing a little faith in the world of dating and relationships. Should I quit trying to find my Mr. Right?  My Marlboro Man? My better half? Goodness, no.

These things are difficult. But if I were to avoid them, who knows what opportunities I’d be missing out on.

So I’m going to keep on keepin’ on.

I’m going to trust George H. Brimhall and know that great things will come my way when I take on difficult things.

Better yet, I’m going to trust my Heavenly Father and place my faith in Jesus Christ. Doing that, I know I can always trust the outcome. 

Always. 

Prayers for the South

I remember my first day moving into the dorms at BYU. A little flower cutout was posted on my door with the words, “Go beyond yourself and you will grow.” It was a welcome note from the Bishop’s wife of my ward. I still have it, and it serves a meaningful purpose for my life.

Tonight as I reflected on how hard of a week this was for me, I was reminded of that little phrase. These past few months, and the next few months to follow, consisted of moments where I’ve pushed myself beyond my comforts.

I worked two jobs and went to school full time.
I decided to run a half marathon.
I’ve ran more miles during training than I ever have in my life.
And recently, I decided to take a News Reporting class.

This last one has definitely placed me out of my comfort zone, and pushed me to do things that aren’t “me.” But it’s helped me in so, so many ways. This week, it’s especially taught me how to listen to people who are experiencing hard things.

I’m currently writing an article about relief efforts in the South. I’ve talked to people living there, people who are volunteering to help with relief efforts and people whose families were affected by the recent outbreak of violent tornados.

My heart reaches out to them, I want to be there...helping, working, listening, and comforting. Talking to these amazing people, it reminded me when an outbreak of violent tornados hit Oklahoma on May 3, 1999. My family wasn’t directly affected, but I knew people who were. I remember the heartache and sorrow, but more importantly I remember that people from all over the country came to help clean up. I remember the immense feeling of gratitude our community felt for these people.

So, my heart and mind have been with these people in the South. My conversations have been with folks from rural areas that were struck pretty bad. Often we don’t here about these areas, they get swept to the side by the media. I wanted to change that, so I’m writing an article about them. The efforts going on in their community, and how they are coping. Let me share with you some of the things they’ve said.

“To have your childhood, your hometown wiped away is something that cannot be understood until it has happened to you. I have realized that this has affected me more than I would have expected, but I have also realized that in times of crisis, people ban together as a community and I am so very proud of my hometown for coming together to help. I am proud of Ringgold and although she has been through the ringer, she'll come out on top.”

“Tuscaloosa and the state of Alabama are really hurting right now. The devastation throughout the state is unbelievable. I just in the last few days saw some of the damage in Tuscaloosa as a few roads are beginning to open. Where once stood neighborhoods, it now looks like a trash landfield. And that's before the cleanup. I don't know how we avoided more deaths. People literally crawled out of the debris.”

I’m praying for these fine folks...they need all the comfort and help they can get. And I hope that you'll take some time to pray for them as well. 

I’ll soon be sharing more about my experiences of “going beyond myself”... there’s been a few this week that have touched my little heart.

And, we're back!

It’s happening again. The longer I procrastinate, the harder it becomes to write regular blog posts.

But tonight I definitely needed some time to write my thoughts.

First off, I wanted to let everyone know that I have the coolest Pops around town. Today is my dad’s birthday, and I just love that guy so much!

                   

This week started our spring term here at BYU. Let me just say that I’m loving/ hating it. Loving it because campus it literally empty (minus the 15,000 women who are attending Women’s Conference this weekend). Loving it because it’s only seven weeks. Loving it because the walk to and from campus allows me to eversoslowly get a tan. My only drawback to spring term is that my classes last three hours instead of one.

I mean really people, who can honestly be so focused for three hours? Let’s just say the intake of Diet Cokes per week will increase significantly for this next little while.

It’s also probably worth noting that I’m reporting for the Daily Universe, our school’s newspaper, this term. So far I’ve written three stories in three days. That’s alot. Especially for this PR major who creates quotes for people rather than writing exactly what people say. I know that sounds shady, but people say the darndest things and sometimes we have to help them sound more...educated. But this will be a good experience. It will let me understand “the other side” of the communications field.

Let’s divulge from all this school mumbo jumbo and talk about my trip to Oklahoma.

I realized how much I missed home as soon as my parents gave me a hug. I realized how much I needed it. Needed that.

You see, families are great. They love you regardless of how weird, annoying, or cranky you can be. They encourage you to be a little better, to work a little harder.

An my brother did just that. Last Saturday morning my brother and I went to a park where we spent a good amount of our time at while growing up. Saturday was my scheduled long run. The distance? 6 miles.

Not even half way through the run, I wanted to quit. My brother saw this (even while he was struggling far more than I was) and so he looked to me and said, “C’mon, don’t quit now. Just keep on going.” At first I was annoyed, how in the heck is he beating me when I’ve been training for several weeks? But I listened to him.

And as I crossed my made-up finish line, I got all grateful like.

Brothers are good like that. They can annoy the heck out of you, but they can be the saving grace that gets you through the toughest times.

I also spent time with some of my favorite people. Here’s a few.

         Mi madre         

 

Grandma!

 

And the infamous Ms. Carolyn Burkes

Don't worry, I also visited several other Okies, we just forgot to snap a picture of our beautiful faces.

And I may or may not have visited my favorite place to eat ice cream just a time or two.

The trip went by way too fast, but I’ll be back soon. I don’t know of anything half as pleasant as coming home.

Attagirl, Jessica

So it’s been far too long since my last post. I’d have to say a few things happened in between now then.

-I’ve ran 4.2 miles straight, running FIVE tomorrow. 

  And yes I still wake up at 5:30 to work out.
-I went to Salt Lake and attended two sessions of General Conference 

  and loved every minute of it.
-I made the best chocolate chip waffles yet.
-My brother, a few friends and I celebrated his 23 birthday. 

  Yikes he’s getting old!
-Classes for Winter Semester ended...hallelujah!

Now it’s safe to assume that more than five things have occurred between my two week hiatus from blog posting, but most of that consisted of writing PR campaigns and law papers. And working..LOTS of working.

But I wish to divulge on a few things I’ve learned this semester. If you haven’t noticed, I LOVE making lists.

1. Working two jobs and going to school full-time is many a stress and hard work but great for learning how to manage your time wisely.
2. Being patient and trusting the Lord is essential for surviving this crazy life.
3. The cereal “Life” will always be a staple food in my household.
4. Living in an apartment of six girls should make anyone realize that girls are NOT meant to live together.
5. It’s important to know the various community resources and volunteer opportunities wherever you live. Being involved in your community is part of being a good citizen.  
6. Jimmer Jimmer Jimmer!
7. Google docs are by far the best innovation for college kids working on group projects, study guides and papers.
8. Utah really isn’t all that bad...it’s actually a great place.
9. Training for half marathons are hard, but it’s SO worth it. 

10. Be bold. Take chances. But also, be wise.

So there you have it. This weekend I will be running for the first time ever, five whole miles. 

That is crazy talk, people. But I’m loving it!

I will also be packing to go HOME, for a short visit.

And in honor of that grand state in which I was born and raised...here’s a little something.

Oh, what a beautiful morning.

It’s 5:45 A.M.
I think to myself...is this real life? I must be dreaming, because I am UP and AWAKE...ready to run. Ready to do something that seemed impossible a short time ago.

This week begins my morning workout routine. It’s day two, and I feel better than I have in quite some time. There’s something invigorating about waking up when most everyone (in Provo) is still asleep, walking outside in the crisp, cool air, driving to the gym, and pushing myself to go a little farther, to be a little better.

And I’ve noticed a few things already.
I have more time to pray and study my scriptures before work and class, which before, only happened on occasion.
My body and mind are more invigorated (D&C 88:124 IS true)
Between work, school, projects, socializing, and everything else...there is somehow time for all of those things.

I'm happier

Now I will say that by 4:00pm yesterday, I was SO done with everything and just wanted to rest my head for a bit. But I pushed forward, and all is well. And I’m sure that will get better with time.

You see, I couldn’t quite express how I’ve felt these past few days. And thanks to my friend, who’s recent blog post shared a link to some really great things...I found this little gem.

First it begins inside your heart. Something moves. Then opens. Then frees itself. And now, you feel a rhythm breaking its long silence. This is going to be good…

Exactly. THIS is going to be good. And I’m ready for it.

Marky Mark and Jimmer

First things first....look who came to campus today.
That would be Mr. Mark Zuckerburg, founder of facebook (the biggest distraction EVER. but i love it nonetheless).

A special technology forum was held with Marky Mark and Senator Orrin Hatch as the two speakers. Too bad it was Senator Hatch that invited him. Otherwise, he should NOT have lead the discussion. You know those old men who mumble, make not-so funny jokes, and are full of themselves? He should be the poster child.

Mark was great, however. From watching “The Social Network,” I thought of him as an arrogant, rude, too-smart-for-his-own-good kind of guy. TOTALLY wrong. He is brilliant, kind, and passionate about what he does. I learned that he strongly advocates for internet safety and education. He’s innovative and promotes innovation throughout the world. This guy is inspiring.

On a sad note, BYU lost yesterday. Boo.
But I am SO proud of the Cougars and their hard work.
And Fredette. Is it just me, or do Mark Zuckerburg and Jimmer look alike? Weird.

Anywho, life is just swell. Really, it is. And guess where I'm going tomorrow?

IKEA...and the Gateway. Pray for me. It's going to take all the strength I have to not spend everything in my already small banking account.




(images found here and here)

Adele.

Sometimes, you have to take a break from your eversocrazy life and just listen.

 

I love her style, her voice and this song. 

Everytime I listen to it, I don't want it to end. 

Oh yes, I might have changed the design on my blog a bit. Hope you like!

Faith of a Determined Soul

Isn’t it amazing how great some parts of our life can be, while other parts seem so disappointing or troublesome? But without opposition, we wouldn’t know how joyful and sweet those great parts of our life really are.

Looking for some inspiration this week, I came across a few needful things.

1. Make sure your choices are consistent with your goals.
2. Be careful about wanting to do big, noticeable things.
3. Recognize that “there is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

(Read more about this, here)

The first suggestion seems so basic. But I cannot even count the number of times I have made a choice that seems to backtrack my progress towards a certain goal. For instance, choosing not to run because I’m too tired goes against my goal to run a half marathon this summer. It’s not so much the big decisions that I have trouble making...it’s the little ones. Like whether or not I should run that extra half mile,whether or not I should eat that piece of cake, saying my prayers even though I feel so tired, reading scriptures, etc, etc.

This week I decided to change that. I’m making choices consistent with my goals.
And it feels SO good.  

The second suggestion kind of took me by surprise. Don’t we want to do noticeable, worthwhile things? We do. But it’s not the exceptional things that define us, it is meeting everyday life with strength and courage that creates character.

I thought about my goal of running a half marathon. That’s a big deal, to me at least. And It’s noticeable because I’ve told enough people about it now so they expect me to go through with this. But I’m not doing this to be “noticed” or a “hero.”

I’m doing this for me.
This half marathon represents more than just enduring 

13.1 miles of sweat and pain.
How I go about achieving this goal is shaping the type of person I want to become.

Someone who:
works hard for their desires and goals.
is consistent in the small things.
chooses faith over fear.
trusts the Lord with all their heart.

After thinking about this, the third suggestion fits perfectly with how I feel. No chance, no fate, no destiny will hinder the firm resolve of my determined soul.

And even though other parts of my life may be a little shaky, a little unsure at the moment, I know that as I put my faith and trust in Him then I can always trust the outcome. Always. 

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"

So my friend shared this video with me last night.
And I kind of love it.

I began to think about what my "daily affirmation" would be if I were to say, do this in front of my bathroom mirror before I set out for my long day. It would include these things:

I can be a winner.

I can do anything good.

I like my bed.

I like my sleep.

I like my Diet Coke breaks.

I like my hair (most days).

I like my makeup (thank GOODNESS for cover-up)

I like my mom. My dad. My brother. My best friends.

I LIKE THE WEEKENDS. (Spread arms, loud clap)

My school is great. (Go Cougars!)

I can do anything good.

Yeah yeah yeah....

And that's about it. Of course I will put in all of the arm swinging motions. But anyway...I think I'm really going to start at least thinking about the good things I have in life while getting ready in the morning...it'll be good for me.

And in case you were wondering, the wedding was splendid. Absolutely great! 

And we might have had just a little too much fun...

Cousins.

So I’ve been meaning to write a new post this week, but every time I sit down to write...I’m lost.
 

Today, however, I wish to express my gratitude for cousins. And best friends. They can be the same thing, you know.

Tomorrow my best friend Eli is getting married in the temple for time and all eternity. And I’m already getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it. She’s the closest thing I’ve had as a sister, and for that I am forever grateful.

Eli and I have grown up together our whole lives. We spent many days playing dress up, being tortured by my older brother, laughing until we cried, going on adventures and getting lost, laying out in the pool, shopping, and everything else girls do.

Yes, I’m that girl with glasses and bangs. I loved the 90s.

As we've gotten older, we still spend many days doing those things. And we also have told each other all about our future husbands. I specifically remember one night while we were trying to go to sleep, we told each other exactly how we’d meet our husband and when we’d get married. 

I think we were both off by a long shot, seeing as how one of them is married, and the other is just...out of the question.

Nonetheless, I am SO incredibly grateful for the choices Eli has made, and for the example she has set. I can say without a doubt that Heavenly Father has blessed me with people in my life that, through their example, teach me how to be the best possible version of myself.

Okay, the tears are starting...so I need to just stop now. Let’s hope I can make it through tomorrow without looking like a blubbering mess!

Come to Jesus Moments

Hmm…well I didn’t get into much trouble this holiday weekend. But I did have a “come to Jesus” moment on Sunday. Kind of ironic now that I think about it…

But it was much needed.

Lately I’ve been stuck in a rut. Maybe it’s the stress of school, the monotony of work, missing my family and friends in Oklahoma, guys who are indecisive and inconsiderate or just combination of it all.

I was sad.

Lonely.

And unable to feel the spirit like I normally do.

So this Sunday, the girls and I went to our old roommate’s mission farewell. It was in an actual church building, not the Tanner building on BYU campus. There was an organ with someone who actually played the organ. There were children. Families.

It made me miss home just a bit.

And although I don’t particularly recall the talks given by the speakers, I do remember how I felt. It was like a fire being lit to full blast inside my chest. It was a stern, yet gentle, reminder of what I needed to be doing to stay on track.

Things like:

-praying daily…and actually communicating with Heavenly Father

-reading my scriptures…but more importantly studying them

-keeping an attitude of gratitude….seriously, life is SO good to me.

It’s funny how the simplest things are what keep us spiritually charged. And when we stray from doing them, our life gets slightly off track.

Of course, I got a little choked up when we sang “Families Can Be Together Forever.”

It’s always been one of my faves. And a line in it really hit me.

“I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can.”

He’s shown us the way to get back to where we need to be. I just need to follow Him.

Thanks for the reminder Heavenly Father; it’s comforting to know that you KNOW me so well.